a tennis glossary

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Not sure if any of you other tennis bloggers have gotten this glossary sprinkled through your comments. It was left over three or four posts. I’ve compiled them here. The ones about ballboys and ballgirls gave me the creeps.

Set: Comprises two racquets, a net and some balls. They cost £9.99 from Argos.

Tiebreak: When the game has to stop because someone in the crowd isn’t correctly attired for the occasion.

Wimbledon: Head of the Tennis Mafia.

Advantage: What the children of rich parents who can afford tennis lessons have.

Nadal: Type of Spanish orange. Spanish, orange, tennis player, that is.

Federer: Type of hat worn by stylistically-challenged Swiss men.

Sampras: Character from The Virginian who went on to have a successful career as Pistol Pete the tennis player.

Borg: Automaton at war with the Tennis Federation.

Lendl: Film starring Barbra Streisand as a cross-dressing Jewish tennis player.

Hawkeye: Friend of Sampras.

Ball boys and girls: In days gone by, when players ran out of balls, children from the local workhouse were hit over the net.

Racquet: Noise the ballboys and girls made.

Tramline: Way that poor ballboys and girls used to get to Wimbledon. Commemorated in the name of the part of the court where their dead bodies would be laid out before collection at the end of each match.

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