In the two weeks following the Novotnazation of Roger Federer at the Australian Open, much was said about men, sports, and crying. But little ink was spilled about Mirka, hand gestures, and screen caps.
Good thing Nick McCarvel is up to the task (if only because he knows what it’s like to get freeze-framed):
“Oh god Roger, what now?!? What’s killing you? Usually he saves the waterworks for bed. ‘It’s killing you’? It’s killing you’?! What’s killing me is that I have to sit here for another five minutes while you “compose” himself. But that’s what Twitter is for. ‘@mirka: I want a donut.’
“Mmmmmmmmmmm. Good thing I’m wearing vanilla hazelnut hand lotion. This tastes sinful. SiiiiiinFULL!”
“Psst, don’t tell anyone, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed a snack. Thankfully, there’s always room for a cardboard cutout of me in my bag. Pretty convincing, right? If anyone asks, Comete was getting antsy. I needed to take her for a walk!
“Roger, your girlfriend hasn’t moved in three minutes.”
“Ok, I’m back. Is that me on the jumbotron? Damn! I look good. Here all these people were telling me Martina Hingis’ career would last longer than mine. Look who’s on the big screen now, beyotches! I’m so good at life…